


I Understand (5 + 1)

by Maiden22



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Ash is a seasoned trainer, Ash knows trauma okay?, Ash loves his friends, Ash understands, Aura mentioning as well but vaguely, Diode Shipping if you squint, He's not, Not a lot though, Trauma mentioned, a lot of things mentioned actually, also firstfriend shipping if you squint, butterfree mentioned, charizard is briefly mentioned, he just knows, he knows Things, its the normal things that get him, listen to him, people think Ash is SUS, that ones a lot less, until he doesnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27450742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiden22/pseuds/Maiden22
Summary: He understood, down to the letter. Until he couldn't wrap his head around it anymore.
Relationships: Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Satoshi no Pikachu | Ash Ketchum's Pikachu
Comments: 27
Kudos: 314
Collections: Purrsonal Picks





	I Understand (5 + 1)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to type lol. i have another idea for a 5 + 1. damn.

**#1) Loss**

  
  


May breathed out heavily, tears pooling in her eyes as she stared at Manaphy, the baby pokemon she hatched, swimming away with another tearful goodbye. She could see the pokemon gently float away, diving deeper to the Sea Temple they had just escaped from.

 _Her baby, her baby._ The thought kept repeating in her head, fingers twitching as she tried to grasp soft skin that was no longer there. Tried to feel the gentle warmth and the very soft heartbeat beneath her fingertips.

It was gone. Gone, _gone,_ _ **gone**_ **.**

It must have been a few hours, maybe – the sun was finally setting behind her – but she was having difficulty moving from her spot on the beach.

The thought that she may never get the chance to see her baby- HER BABY – again was starting to really register. A thoughtlessly loud sob ripping from her throat that she struggled to choke back.

He was her baby- her baby!

May could hear noises around her, the sounds of muffled voices trying their hardest to reach her. Gentle guiding hands tugging her back in an attempt to lead her away.

But May was anything but complacent. She needed to be there.

What if Manaphy came back looking for Mama?

She felt the gentle warmth of Combusken by her side, her starter wrapping his claw around her hand. She didn't move and neither did Combusken, giving her his undying support and patience. He was so patient and May couldn’t even give her starter the time to acknowledge him or thank him for his comfort. It didn’t matter, Combusken stayed and she would have to thank him once her head was on right.

It was hard, and the sobs were beginning to build up back in her throat when she felt another hand on her shoulder, cold to the touch and startling her out of her mind.

Shrieking, May jerked forward, gripping her shoulder as a full body shiver ran through her. Turning to glare at the person, she was met with Ash standing there, giving her a concerned look.

"May, it's getting late." Ash blinked at her. "We should head inside and get some rest."

May started, hair whipping to gaze over the horizon. She never even noticed how late it had gotten, she must have been standing there all day-

But...Manaphy.

"I can't." May whispered. "Manaphy-"

He was gone- her little baby had to live his own life. He was too important to stay by May's side no matter how much she desperately wanted him to stay.

It was building up, she was ready to dive into the ocean to get him, to get her baby back-

Cold hands grasped her arm, gently dragging her back and pulling her down. She tried jerking her arms, she had to- Manaphy, Manaphy-

"MANAPHY!" May yelled jerking to run into the ocean.

She couldn't swim far or that low, but she has to- she has-

She was dragged back and down, hard. Barely able to regain her senses, cold gangly arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders, pulling her closer to a hug as another pair of warm arms wrapped around her stomach, the warm body of that person leaning into her side.

The two different temperatures dragged May back into a small portion of her reality. The sounds of someone murmuring and another voice cooing, helping drag her attention back.

The sky was black and the ocean mimicked it's dark blue nature. The ocean’s waves stayed deathly still, with only the barest sounds of the water hitting the docks pillars registering in her ears.

Carefully, May dragged her attention around, focusing on Ash who just sat there, head leaning on her own as he hummed.

Ash wasn't a very physical person- he loved high fives and the occasional hug, but he'd never hold it for this long before-

Very carefully, May turned her attention back to the ocean.

The ocean where her baby, her Manaphy left.

The tears she had forgotten came back with a vengeance. Except this time she could feel the burn beneath her eyes, the struggle to breathe as something lodged itself to the back of her throat, the way the tears, wet and warm had begun to leave a trail that burned in the wind.

She couldn't stifle her sobs, the beached Wailord noises she tried holding back were breaking from her throat. She wasn't a pretty crier, and May knew Ash and Combusken could see the snot falling from her nose and the gross fat tears streaming down her face.

But forget it- she held it in long enough and she just wanted Manaphy back, she just wanted her baby…

Ash's humming slowly became louder, the waves of the ocean following the speed of his hums. It was soothing and May could slowly feel the sadness in her heart ease in the slightest.

Manaphy would be safe- Ash had made sure of it. Not May, Ash.

And here he was, comforting her instead of his pokemon who had almost lost him- she had almost lost her best friend and she had lost her baby.

"Today sucks." May murmured, startling Ash for a second.

There was a beat as he stared at her, first surprised, then a small smile touched his lips as he broke into a laugh, shaking his head.

"You're telling me." Ash looked at her, raising a brow despite the smile on his face. "Usually these things turn out a bit better."

That's right, this wasn't Ash's first rodeo was it? He had gotten caught in that whole island thing in Kanto years back- Brock said he had been pretty close to the chaos So it must have been terrifying.

But this was also different… wasn't it?

"Just a bit?" May tried to laugh it off, but let out a broken sob. "That doesn't reassure me."

Still with a soft smile on his face, Ash stood quiet, turning to look at the ocean.

"No, I guess not."

He didn't say another word, only humming softly as she tried to regain her senses. Staring out into the open ocean, she felt the bitter loneliness hit her and boy did it hit her hard.

She had only had Manaphy for a few days. The tiny newborn Legendary growing on her by leaps and bounds and now he was gone. He had to be.

How else would Manaphy grow to be the strong legendary she knew he'd be?

Ash shifted, voice beginning to croon soft words still in time and in beat with his previous. And like a shift the ocean moved, waving to the tune of Ash's singing like he was in control.

It gave May a small hope that Manaphy was listening to them. He must have loved Ash's song.

"What is that?" She glanced up at Ash, eyes tired and drained and wow everything felt sucky.

Ash sputtered, sucking in a harsh breath in surprise that left him coughing for a few seconds. Despite how tired and drained she felt, May managed a small smile. Leave it to Ash, Brock had said.

"Neh, Daijoubu-" He coughed, reigning in his embarrassment for a second. "It's uh… It's a song someone taught me when I was heading to Hoenn."

There was a small pause and Ash glanced at her, lips wavering as if he was even debating on what to do next.

"Tell me?" May pushed, nudging his stomach as she shifted Combusken closer.

Had her starter fallen asleep?

"Eh? There's not much to tell, Pikachu knows the story more than I do." Ash shrugged. I wasn't listening too well, I was trying to hear the song."

"What do you remember?"

He paused, humming in thought instead of song this time. He tilted his head, back and forth as he seemed to debate and recall the story in his own head.

"Uh… It was about a family- the dad had left the mother and his child behind I think." Ash paused, eyes widening than squinting as he tried to recall. "I think they were from some town I can't remember the name of- anyway. The dad had sang this song to his kid, said that it was their way of never forgetting each other. I don't think it had a happy ending- I remember not liking the ending though."

May huffed a laugh, she had never heard that story before, and despite Ash's poor retelling, it did sound like a sad story.

"Do you remember the whole song?" She looked at him.

"Mmm, not everything, i don't remember the language they switched too but the Hoennese they used was pretty clear." He dragged his eyes away from the ocean, staring at her with dark brown eyes that bore nothing but comfort. "You wanna hear, gotta warn ya, I'm a bad singer."

"Not as bad as Max I bet." She snarked, earning a laugh from him that broke another smile from her. "But if you remember… can you?"

He shifted, bringing his hand to pat her on the head before letting it rest on the ground behind them, supporting his body as he leaned back slightly.

He started humming, a bit off rhythm at first before slowly finding the beat. The humming turned to gentle crooning, and as May turned to stare at the ocean, soft notes of the song began to ring clear.

" _Remember me,_ " Ash's voice was soft, like he was trying to talk with a small note. " _Though_ _I_ _have to say goodbye, Remember me. Don't let it make you cry-_ "

It was far too fitting and May felt the tears starting to spring to her eyes. There was no way- no way in Darkrai that this was merely a coincidence. Ash wasn't dumb but he was forgetful-

" _For even if I'm far away, I'll hold you in my heart-_ _I_ _sing a secret song to you each night we are apart."_

May knew Manaphy would have loved the song, she herself would have loved to sing this to him.

So why- why had Ash never mentioned it before?

" _Remember me, Though_ _I_ _have to travel far. Remember me, each time you hear a sad guitar."_

His voice was haunting, guilt ridden and sad like he knew, like he understood what she was going through.

Ash couldn't- he could have understood. He was so happy and May felt so broken-

" _Know that I'm with you the only way that I can be. Until your in my arms again~_ "

Ash hit a bit of a high note, his voice cracking ever so slightly at the pitch. May watched as the ocean blipped, mimicking the crack and she fought the laugh behind her tears.

Manaphy must have not like that.

" _Remember...Me._ " Like a Shuppet, his voice faded, pausing a bit too soon and ruining the beat.

It was oddly appropriate.

They stood in comfortable silence for a bit too long. May tried her hardest to recollect her thoughts as Ash stood uncharacteristically quiet.

She wanted to ask, she desperately wanted to ask all the questions clawing at the back of her skull.

But she didn't.

The song did nothing for her, she felt more desperate to have Manaphy in her arms and yet-

"You guys will still hold each other close even though you're away." His voice startled her, and she turned to face his soft look. "Cause that's how love works, you love Manaphy and he loves you too. It's gonna be alright May."

She stared, holding his gaze for far too long.

Ash never broke, keeping her gaze with a soft understanding smile like her knew but-

"You can't know that." May whispered, quietly looking away. "You can't."

They stood quiet a little longer, before the sounds of shuffling reached her ears.

She didn't dare turn, till Ash's hand tapped her on the shoulder as he held out a piece of folded paper. At his glance, she gently gripped the page, almost expecting him to turn and walk away.

But he didn't, so May took the time to unravel the paper.

Only it wasn't a paper, it was photos, photos of Ash.

It was photos upon photos of a pokemon that looked strangely like Beautifly but purple and with big red eyes. Usually Ash was in the photo, he didn't look all that different, just a change of clothes from what May could tell but that didn't matter. There were other pokemon as well, some she recognized and others she didn't, but they were almost always centered on that Beautifly like pokemon.

The last picture she landed on was of Ash and a chunkier Pikachu, a small green pokemon between then that looked downright delighted to be there. It felt so real, like she had been there to have taken the picture herself, she could almost hear Ash's and Pikachu's delighted laughter as the green pokemon wiggled happily.

Gently, May set the photos on her lap, glancing at Ash as he gazed at her. He didn't look broken or lost, but he looked sad, reminiscent in a way that didn't fit Ash well.

"What..." Her throat felt dry, like she swallowed the smoke of a Camerupt. "What are these?"

Ash hummed, gently reaching over and holding the pictures up so both he and May could see. Combusken shifted in her lap and she could only guess that he was awake and listening.

"This," He pointed at the green pokemon, then to the Beautifly. "Is Caterpie, who evolved into Metapod than Butterfree."

Butterfree… what a pretty name.

"He was my first pokemon." Ash breathed out, and it sounded like it was painful for him to even talk about. "He was also my first fully evolved Pokemon. I caught him when he was young and I raised him to the Butterfree you see."

May's heart thudded in her chest, mouth dry as she tried to swallow the lump building up in her throat.

"Was?" She managed to squeak out, eyes wide and disbelief coloring her face.

No- no he couldn't. That wasn't…

It was Ash… there couldn't have been any way.

"Pokemon grow a lot faster than humans." Ash screwed his eyes closed, then turned to her with a smile. "He… It was a migration season for Butterfree in Kanto… I couldn't.. I couldn't force him to stay with me… he'd have been unhappy."

No… no no no.

May shook her head, reeling back slightly at the news as Ash slowly brought the photos closer to him, fingers idly brushing over the pictures.

"I let him go to be happy." Ash breathed out, finally folding the pictures back up before he turned to her.

His eyes were empty, almost soulless and a completely different side of Ash she had never seen before. Gentle tears were building up at the bottom of his eyes, tears beginning to cling to his lashes.

Ash…

"I get you." Ash chuckled, rubbing away the tears. "I understand."

May swallowed back the sob, closing her eyes as a laugh broke from her throat.

"Yeah… I… I guess you do." The tears were falling again. "Does it… does it get-"

"Better?" He finished her question, watching as she nodded. "Sometimes… you'll realize that in the end it was for the best but that doesn't mean you stop hurting. It'll get easier on some days and harder on others. That's just how it works."

Ash adjusted his cap, the brim of his hat doing well to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

"But know that Manaphy loves you like you loved him, just like I know Butterfree loves me as much as I love him." He laid a hand on her shoulder. "That will never stop."

May nodded, letting her tears fall as they both turned to face the ocean.

She didn't feel better, not the way that she hoped she would.

But May felt… okay.

It didn't feel like the world was rallying against her anymore- it didn't feel like no one would understand what she meant.

Cause Ash understood, and Ash was Ash, her happy mentor and one of her best friends.

It'd take time to cope with her loss, but someone who understood would be there.

  
  


**#2) Outcast**

  
  


Iris snarled, slamming a fist against the pristine white wall just by her side. Her entire body was shivering and she angrily hit the wall again.

The person in front of her gave her a look, turning to whisper to his partner as they ignored her once more, her traveling partners and her rival standing by her side.

"Fine!" Iris spat out, stomping her foot. "Fuck this!"

She kicked her foot, scuffing the ground and letting a muddle of dust get kicked up. The two men yelped in surprise, jumping back just as Iris turned around and stomped away, pushing past her friends (and Georgia) and towards the forest where she 'belonged'.

Fuck those guys!

"Iris!" Cilan's voice rang far too clearly, far too worried in her ears. "Iris, please-!"

She stopped her stride, turning to him with the same amount of fury she had shown those guards. Cilan stumbled, green eyes widening for a second as he threw his arms up in the casual 'i come in peace' fashion.

"Cilan if you tell me that I was being ridiculous, I will personally throw you off the next cliff we come across." Her tone was biting, she didn't care that Cilan was her friend at the moment. "You heard what those assholes said!"

"I think we all did dragon wannabe." Furiously, Iris turned to Georgia, who wasn't sneering at her for once. "Still- you shouldn't have kicked sand at them."

"Oh, was I supposed to bow and let them trounce over me!?" Iris stomped forward right into Georgia's face, tip-toeing to seem a bit bigger. "Was I supposed to say- _oh I'm so sorry that I'm not a prim and proper fucking S_ TUCK UP BUNCH OF ASSHOLES THAT DON'T KNOW THE FIRST PARTS OF HUMAN FUCKING DECENCY!"

She pulled away from Georgia's face quickly, opting to scream in the direction of the assholes that did this. Her body shook and she could feel herself heaving, heart pounding in her chest and ears and the very back of her head but what did it matter.

"Iris… they were just doing their job." Cilan's voice was meek and it was clear to her that he had never felt something like this. "Just keeping the outsiders out."

"They were gonna let you all in just fine!" She bit out, eyes narrowing as she looked at the three of them. "But I'm the odd one out!? Bullshit!"

"Can you blame them!?" Georgia raised her voice slightly. "Everyone is nice and polite and you come in screaming something or other. You're Aggressive, Dragon girl! You probably scared them!"

Iris felt it, the anger becoming a ball in the center of her chest where she was just about ready to rip her rival in half. Ice types be damned!

"I'm aggressive!?" Iris laughed, the bitter tones hitting far too loudly for comfort. "Cause I like being loud? Cause I said Hello and came in to see what was happening!? Ooh I'm so sorry that I managed to scare two mother fuckers that could have easily thrown me to the dirt if they needed to!"

She was mad, furious even that they were trying to defend those douchebag's actions.

"I don't even know what the fuck I did!? I came by and they called me the Dragon Girl this and the Dragon Girl that." Iris spat, stomping her foot once more. "They didn't even try to reason with me!"

"You're unreasonable!" Georgia glared. "If they told you, you would have fought them anyway!"

"Damn right I would!" Iris stomped again. "Cause that right there was some Deino shit if I've ever heard any- I'm a Dragon girl by heart and soul and fuck the people who say anything about it!"

"Oh my-" Georgia hissed out a guttural sound, not any word that Iris knew before the rival was turning to face Ash. "YOU! you talk to her! I'm tired of talking to a brick wall."

Ash's eyebrows shot up in surprise, pursing his bottom lip as Pikachu hissed. Neither seemed pleased, and yet neither one of them have really said a word since this whole ordeal started.

So Iris crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Oh yeah sure, like the little kid is gonna fucking get it?" She hissed. "To be tossed to the side because you came from a village, seen as a fucking feral child just cause I enjoy pokemon company over humans. And this-"

She angrily swiped her arm across, pointing back at the guards as Cilan avoided her gaze and Georgia glared.

"This is Deino Shit. It may not be the peak of what I've been through- excluded from conversations and games cause I was just being me- its not the worse, but it sure as fuck doesn't feel good."

And Ash blinked at her.

And nodded.

"I know." He agreed, pulling up his pokedex. "Let's go to another Gym, I heard this one trainer talking about an electric type gym somewhere- I think that'd be fun."

Iris faltered, anger fading for a second as Ash casually typed in something slowly into his Dex, walking up to show her about three separate gyms with electric typings.

"Ash, what the hell!" Georgia snapped before Iris could even say a word. "Don't agree with her, this isn't okay!"

And Ash nodded in agreement to that as well.

"Yeah, it's not." Pikachu chirped in her ear.

"Ash." Cilan started out slowly, still slightly flustered. "I don't understand in the slightest…"

There was silence as Ash fiddled with his pokedex, glaring at the words on his screen without any heat. And now Iris was getting frustrated.

With anger, she swiped the Dex, holding it tight in her hand and holding it high above her head. Ash's fingers flexed, and for a moment Iris feared he was going to hit something. But instead, they stayed rooted to the spot where she snatched the Dex. His face falling blank and an unimpressed look entered his eyes.

She shivered, lowering the Dex slowly.

This wasn't Ash.

"I was using that." He joked, cracking the barest hints of a smile.

He dropped his hands, shoving them into the pockets of his pants as he stepped back.

And for a moment Iris felt like she didnt know him, like everything he had shown her was fake and he was now only showing his true colors. Glancing up at Cilan, hoping for a second that he knew what was happening.

But by the looks of his and Georgia's face, both of them were just as confused.

"We should head out, Gyms aren't supposed to reject trainers- but they aren't not allowed to reject the audience." He shrugged, Pikachu copying his movement. "It's no fun if your friends aren't there to cheer you on. And I'm not fighting without Iris there either."

And maybe the words made her feel warm and wanted, but the look in his eye wasn't the Ash she knew and befriended.

"Ash?" Iris gently lowered her arm, holding the Dex lax in her hands.

Grinning, Ash plucked the Dex from her grip beginning to fiddle with it just a bit more.

Satisfied by what he found, he turned to show it to her.

She couldn't read it, she couldn't even begin to fathom what it meant. It was a strange mix of characters, and for a brief moment Iris wondered what this was.

Ash leaned over and taped the screen, pointing at the words on the top right.

"Sa-to-shi." Ash pronounced slowly, an accent peaking into his tone.

"Sha-tashi?" She repeated only for him to shake his head.

"Satoshi-" He repeated, tapping the screen. "Sah-toh-shi."

"S-shatoshi." The word tingled on her lips and she knew it wasn't right but-

“Daijoubu.” Another word she didn't know, and Ash bowed. "Satoshi to Moushimasu….Satoshi-desu"

Iris blanked, stepping back for a bit as Ash grinned at her.

"Sa-Shahtoshi." Georgia sounded out gingerly, stepping forward. "What does that mean? Is it like an insult."

"Dame." He shook his head, then Ash pointed to himself. "Satoshi Desu."

It didn't click, was Ash whatever a Satoshi was?

The Cilan perked up, pointing at Ash.

"Shatoshi-" Cilan waggled his hand. "Your name is Shatoshi!"

"Satoshi-" Ash corrected, sounding much more like the Ash she knew. "My name is Satoshi."

And now Iris was confused. Why would that matter? Why bring up his name now and not when they had first met? Was it an honorifics thing?

"But…" Georgia looked as confused as she felt.

And Ash turned to Iris, staring at her in the eye.

For a moment, she felt like he knew, like he knew every bit about her that she had tried desperately to forget. The nights she cried, wondering why no one wanted to play. The days she spent with pokemon to feel some sort of love, and when she got it she came back for more. The days she'd hear the ridicule and pretend no one existed but her and pokemon, or the days it got too tough to listen to anymore that she fought tooth and nail until they ran calling her a monster.

He… no- Ash couldn't have known, he couldn't have.

"Cause I get it." Ash smiled, soft enough to tear at Iris's heartstrings. "I'm Satoshi from Kanto, not Ash from Unova… I could never tell people my name cause they never understood what it meant or how to say it.”

He balled up his fists. But walked slowly to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

All she felt was the cold his body radiated.

"Even in Kanto, people refused to say my name- it didn't belong to me they said." He didn't look away from her. "I was the Monster of Pallet town, the boy who ran with Pokemon."

And Iris froze, her body beginning to shake ever so slightly at his words.

He did know.

Not because of her, but because of what he had gone through.

"Even now, I feel like I don't belong, I'm not from Unova, I don't understand the culture all too well but I try." And he stepped back, like a spell his pokemon released themselves, clambering over him for attention. "I understand what it feels like."

Even Krookodile seemed content to sit by his side.

"Even now." Iris dragged her eyes back to Ash. "I'm still that Pokemon boy I was all those years ago. No one is going to make me feel bad about it ever again. I may be an outcast, but not where it matters."

Like a spell had Broke, Ash smiled, big bright and dorky like the little kid she knew him to be.

"Now come on, There's an electric type gym that sounds pretty hard to beat! Let's stop at the pokecenter get some good ole lunch and hit the road!" his pokemon cheered, and they raced off, laughing in joy.

Iris turned slowly, staring at Georgia and then to Cilan, eyes wide with shock.

None of them seemed to know what to do, opting to just slowly follow the Kanto trainer.

He understood.

Finally, Iris smiled, closing her eyes for a second to stop any tears from falling.

It felt weird, knowing that the foreign boy she teased so much understood her more than her fellow Unovians.

She glanced back, back to the gym that refused her entry and sneered.

Ash was right, there were better gyms out there.

“Shatoshi wait up!”

  
  


**#3) Cockiness**

  
  


Dawn knew she was good for a rookie, she could win and win and win and nothing had been too bad. She had faced some losses against far more experienced trainers, but really- she had expected those from the start.

She knew she would win.

But now…

Two losses.

Two losses straight in a row.

In the appeal round no less.

She swallowed the thick feeling in her throat, focusing instead on Piplup and Ambipom.

Just her pokemon, just her pokemon.

It was hard to figure out who was really at fault- was it Dawn? Was it her pokemon? Was it a mixture of both?

No. She shook her head softly, slowly hunching her shoulders and resting her head between her knees.

It was her fault.

Dawn was the trainer- she was the one behind all the plans.

Not Piplup, not Ambipom, not Buneary or Pachirisu-

It was all her.

Numbly, she watched her pokemon train. They had really been trying in the face of their defeat, proving to her that they could do it.

But Dawn hadn't given them the same luxury. And here she was- doubting them as they tried while she moped.

What a great trainer she was.

Dawn didn't know what was more difficult, trying her hardest to ignore the soft thumping at the back of her head or trying to ignore the voices crowding her head knocking her for her failures.

Sometimes she heard Barry and Kenny, sometimes she heard Paul and Zoey. And now, she was hearing Brock and A-

"Dawn," She snapped her eyes open, shifting slowly to stare dumbly at her companion. "Brock said the food was gonna be ready soon."

She stared at him, trying her hardest to process the words he was saying. Pikachu chirped, moving slowly across Ash's shoulder as the trainer stood there with a small smile.

She found that it was much easier to focus on them then her own thoughts.

"S-sorry." Dawn blinked- once, twice- "What did you say?"

Ash didn't looked annoyed, which was a miracle because her own childhood friends had been annoyed at her-

"Brock said the food was almost ready." Ash grinned, patting his stomach for a second. "That's good cause I'm starving!"

Pikachu grinned, slapping his own yellow belly.

"Pi pika!"

Dawn felt her body relax, trying her hardest not to zone out as she nodded.

"Okay-" She didn't dare turn away- she didn't want to go back to her thoughts. "Do I need to set up the table? Is it my turn?"

Ash shook his head, finally crouching low to look her in the eye. It was less confrontational than she expected, a comfort Dawn had no idea she needed.

"No, You did that yesterday, you have dishes today." He held up a hand, flexing his fingers. "Unless you're volunteering to do both- I'd be okay with that!"

Dawn couldn't even think before she burst into laughter, tears brimming the corners of her eyes as she tried her hardest not to snort.

"Absolutely not Ash Ketchum!" Dawn darted her hand out, shoving his shoulder lightly. "I am not falling for that twice!"

He proceeded to pretend to stumble back, landing on his butt before throwing his hand to his chest in mock shock.

"This is assault! Oh the Blasby!" Ash cried out, tossing his head to the side as dramatically as he could.

"Pikachu-" Pikachu raised a brow, causing Ash to perk up.

"Blespheby?"

"Chu." Pikachu nodded

"It's Blasphemy-" Dawn laughed, tapping his thigh. "Which I would describe your poor performance, absolute Blasphemy!"

"Now that's-" Ash poked her shoulder, "Blespheby."

She snorted, shaking her head before turning away.

And just like that the thoughts were dancing in her head again.

No… she needed a distraction. She needed-

"Hey Ash." He hummed in response. "Did you ever…. Did you ever feel like you couldn't lose? That you were the top cat for awhile."

"I'm not a cat." Ash answered back, scooting against the dirt beneath them.

“That’s not what I meant.” Dawn shot him an unimpressed look as he finally settled beside her. “And you know it.”

Ash smiled, snorting a second as he waved a hand.

"Yeah I have." Pikachu crawled away, waving his tail as he tackled into Piplup. "What's bringing this up all of a sudden?"

Dawn was certain that Ash knew, he had to have pieced it together. And if he didnt then…

"I lost." She replied simply.

"You did."

"Twice."

"I know."

"In the preliminaries."

Ash stood quiet, causing her to hunch over in her sitting position.

"You did." He repeated.

What was this? Why was he stone walling her?

"Do you know why?" Ash's tone was genuinely curious.

Dawn was certain he knew more than he let on.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I trained my pokemon, we were going good, our performances looked great in training so-."

She paused, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her chin on her knees.

"I guess we didn't train enough? We couldn't even keep up but we should have- I thought we were better than some of the other performances in the first one and yet-" she trailed off.

He hummed again, and she simply just let the silence linger, watching their pokemon start rough housing instead of training. Dawn couldn't bring herself to ask them to continue.

"You lost." Ash finally spoke again, startling her lightly.

"Yeah."

"You lost twice."

And now she felt it, the bubble of anger slowly rising up her chest and shoving her guilt down into the pits of her stomach.

"Yes Ash, I lost- I lost twice in the beginning rounds!" Dawn grumbled, glaring angrily to the side. “Rub it in a little more would you? I thought I was good but it turns out I wasn’t!”

"Yeah, but I don't think your performance was better than the others." Ash stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Her heart sank, the anger fading away into disbelief. She let out a shaky breath, screwing her eyes close for a second before turning to look at Ash.

He didn't look smug, didn't even look contemplative.

Ash was simply stating a fact in his head.

"W-what?" Dawn desperately tried to ignore the cotton feel in her mouth.

He paused, shifting slightly so he was leaning forward and staring at the pokemon instead of his previous lax seating.

"I don't think your performance was better." He stated, glancing at her. "It was good, but not the best ya know?"

"But…" She started, faltering and looking away. "Why?"

Ash looked at her, eyeing her softly without looking like he was brushing her away.

"Why what?" Again with the curious tone.

"Why." Dawn repeated, straightening her back to stare at him. "Why tell me this? Why now? Why didn't you tell me before? Why? Why!?"

She nearly yelled the last part, voice growing louder and louder. Fists curled tightly against the dirt as her shoulders shook in anger. Dawn blinked back, trying her hardest to calm down.

But Ash didn't look offended, or hurt or confused. In fact, Ash didn't really have a readable mood that she could pick apart.

"Because you're thinking about it." Ash shrugged, turning his head to look at her. "You're not brushing it off, you're wondering. You wouldn't have listened to me if I told you at first."

"Really? That's why, you didn't tell me!?" She snorted, turning her head away. "What makes you so sure!?"

"Cause i was the same way." Dawn froze.

Very, very carefully, she turned back to face him. Unsure of how to approach what he had said.

"You asked me." Ash pointed out. "If I knew what it felt like to not lose then lose suddenly in a bad way. And I said I did. I didn't say that to make you feel better, I understand, you know?"

"Did… Was I really that bad?" Dawn muttered softly, looking away to think.

"I don't think so." Ash answered, and she just knew he was thinking of the wrong thing. "Like I said your performance was nice but you were missing something."

"Like what?" Her eyes darted to her pokemon and back at Ash.

"I don't know." He shrugged, pursing his bottom lip for a second. "Just something felt like it was missing."

He totally knew and Dawn was sure of it, but she huffed out a laugh and nodded instead.

"If you actually told me what was missing, I wouldn't learn- would I?"

He grinned, poking her shoulder.

"No, I definitely think you would learn, but what's the fun in telling you." Ash paused. "Besides, you'd probably be more upset if I told you then if you figured it out, road to self discovery and that whole shebang."

And now she snorted, covering her mouth to stop the upcoming bark of laughter.

"You learn that from Hoenn? Road to Self Discovery?" She grinned

"Kanto actually." Ash matched her grin. "It was my battle against Surge."

"Tough battle?"

"He wiped the floor with me and Pikachu- and both of us learned a pretty powerful lesson."

"Oh?"

"Power and strength can get you pretty far, but having trust in your partner can get you farther." He paused and squinted. "That and speed, lots of speed."

Dawn smiled, shaking her head.

"He told you that? Wow Gym leaders really are something."

"No- it was a lesson me and Pikachu learned ourselves." Ash smiled, his grin growing fond. "It took me a big while to learn that lesson, but Surge was the start of it all."

"Pikachu and I." She corrected softly, glancing at her pokemon.

"You know what I mean!"

She snorted, barely passing him a glance.

"A lesson I need to learn myself." Dawn let out a soft breath, closing her eyes.

She doubted this was Ash's plan- she doubted he really even had a plan. The Kanto trainer had a habit of just winging it at every possible moment.

But he had pushed the voices in her head back, letting reason start to seep its way through.

Yes she lost- twice- but this was an opportunity to learn. And learn and learn. It was a never ending lesson she just had to keep up with.

She was glad Ash understood.

"Alright!" Dawn clapped her hands, startling Ash and catching her pokemons attention. "Let's go check if the food is ready!"

While the pokemon cheered, scrambling to get to Brock, Dawn turned to Ash with a smile.

"And thanks Ash," She stood up, brushing down the dirt on her skirt. "For… the pep talk."

"What are you talking about?" He got up easily, already walking ahead of her. "I just came to tell you the food was almost ready."

Dawn shook her head in disbelief, a sigh falling from her lips.

"Of course."

  
  


**#4) Dissatisfaction**

  
  


Raboot had been ignoring them again. They're once playful and attention seeking Scorbunny had turned into a disinterested Raboot.

And it hurt.

Goh watched as Raboot walked away from them, towards Ash and Pikachu and then beyond that to the empty room they had come from.

Ash and Pikachu had watched Raboot walk by, stepping back to let them pass easily. Raboot gave them a look, a nod, and then walked away.

It was a far more positive reaction than anything Goh had received and they were just a smudge bit jealous

Just a bit.

Pikachu glanced at Ash, cooing for a second.

Goh sat there, detached and numb as they watched Pikachu curl around Ash's neck, nuzzling his trainer fondly before hopping off to chase Raboot. Pausing at the door to wave at Ash with a chirrup of his name and pouncing away once more.

Goh was definitely not jealous.

Not in the slightest.

They ignored the crude feeling in their stomach that was twisting and turning, angrily settling in the center of their chest. Goh sniffed, breathing quickly out of their nose and turning away from the door.

"Raboot is pretty quiet now ain't he." Ash's voice sounded almost fond. "I wonder what's going on in his head."

"Who knows." Goh answered back trying to stop the tiredness from seeping into their voice.

"You alright, Goh?" Well they failed. "You sound upset."

They paused and debated, constantly going back and forth into telling Ash and just leaving it alone.

If they told Ash, then maybe Ash would understand, maybe he'd get where they were coming from. But then…

Would Ash still respect them as a trainer? What if he had never been through this? Would Ash look at them like so many of their classmates had done before? Tired and just done with their endless amounts of knowledge and questions that just didn't seem to stop in their eyes.

Maybe they were overthinking it, but it was hard not to.

"Goh?" They held their breath for a second, then two, then let it go.

"Yeah I'm fine, just tired is all." Goh grinned at Ash, and they were sure it was weak

Ash didn't seem convinced- of course he didn't, but that didn't matter at the moment. Goh just needed a moment to themselves to think, and sleeping was the best solution.

Maybe they were just too high strung from the situation.

"Okay." Ash clapped a hand against their shoulder, startling Goh for a second. "Sleep well Goh, I'll make sure that all the pokemon are resting easy tonight."

He didn't wait for a response, turning away and closing the door behind him. Leaving Goh alone in their bedroom with the light on.

"Okay." Goh breathed out slowly, despite the fact that no one was there.

It took awhile for them to sleep, roughly an hour before they fell into an uneasy sleep. They heard Ash come in roughly 15 minutes later, with Pikachu not so quietly clambering onto the bed.

Goh blearily woke up, startled to see Ash so close to them, but too drowsy to do nothing then slur a soft _hmm?_

Ash glanced down, wincing noticeably.

"Neh- sorry Goh." Ash whispered a bit too loudly. "I was just helping Raboot get to bed- you can go to sleep now."

They hummed, letting their head hit the pillow as Ash scrambled to his own bed, being as quiet as Pikachu was just a few moments earlier.

Which is to say not at all.

Next morning came by too quickly, and Goh woke up just before the sun rose.

And that got them thinking.

Ash had helped Raboot onto the bed, the bed that Ash usually occupied.

Had Raboot really left them to sleep with a different trainer? A better more seasoned trainer than Goh was? Would Ash give him a sad look and accept Raboot in his team? Would he put a stop to it? Whose to say that-

There was a soft kick against his back, forcing Goh to turn to see Raboot lying peacefully on the other side. He was still a fair bit away from them, not as close to them as he had been as a little Scorbunny desperate for attention.

The sight both relieved and broke Goh's heart.

It was hard to understand, and for -what seemed like the hundredth time- Goh couldn't explain it away.

Ever since they met Ash they were proven wrong by a few things with Pokemon, or he was met with a problem they couldn't logic their way out of.

Which was stupid because everyone should be able to logic their way out and not just bullshit their way out like Ash was so accustomed to do!

Okay, a bit unfair but Goh was a little too groggy to think clearly.

With a little bit of convincing, Goh managed to drag themselves out of bed. Dragging their exhausted body out the door and into the bathroom to freshen up. After that, he dragged himself down to the breakfast table where Professor Cerise was drinking a cup of coffee as he waited for the rest of the interns and workers to come in.

The Professor looked up, a smile brightening his face as he waved his hand.

"Good Morning Goh, it's nice to see you're up."

"Morning Professor." Goh tried to imitate his happy energy. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I have a package that is ready to go." The man closed the newspaper, gently laying it down on the table. "I was hoping you and Ash could take it to Professor Oak, I'd do it by mail but that would take a week or two."

Goh nodded, shoving his hands into his sweater pockets.

"Of course Professor, Ash and I are ready to go." Goh grinned.

Professor Cerise snorted into his drink, giving Goh an approving look before nodding.

"Perfect, I'll go get the package while you get Ash." He stood up, backing away before pausing, turning to look at Goh. "Oh and by the way-"

"Yes, Professor?" Goh paused, looking over their shoulder.

"Professor Oak said there was a special someone for Ash there." Cerise shrugged. "I wish I could tell you who it was but Professor Oak was insistent to keep it on the down low."

It took them roughly thirty minutes to get out the building, the package gently placed in Goh's bag.

Ash had taken the lead easily, rounding certain corners of Viridian that Goh wasn't even aware of before they breached the beginnings of the forest.

"Route 1?" Goh raised a brow, clicking through their phone. "Why aren't we taking the bus?"

Ash shrugged, Pikachu chirping from his shoulder.

"Taking a Bus is fun and all, but walking to Pallet town is so much easier and only takes a day." Ash reasoned, taking easy strides forward. "Come on Goh!"

With a sigh, Goh followed behind, grumbling slightly as he scrolled through his phone for a GPS. Raboot on the other hand practically sprinted forward, tugging on Ash's vest and pointing at the forest up ahead.

Ash didn't stop, lightly running his fingers across Raboot's tuft. Raboot was quick to soak up the touch, closing his eyes for a second before pulling away.

Goh couldn't even stop the huff of disappointment.

"Keep in sight and we should be fine- the pokemon here aren't as nice as the pokemon you used to know." Ash said aloud, the words barely registering to Goh’s. "If you see a Spearow head back to us, if it's a Pidgey you should be fine."

"Raboo!" "Pika!"

Pikachu pounced off Ash's shoulders and trounced away with Raboot, looking back every so often to make sure their trainers were in sight.

"Spearow? Pidgey?" Goh gripped the edges of their backpack tight, bouncing it up to readjust it on their back. "Why are those pokemon so important?"

"The Spearow on Route 1 are pretty violent." Ash shrugs. "They don't like people, you can't even catch them cause they steal pokeballs. And they don't listen- I've seen a couple trainers release Spearow when I was first traveling Kanto."

"Don't listen?" Goh murmured beneath their breath, giving a passing glance to Raboot. "Huh."

"You sure you're alright Goh?" Ash didn’t slow down, just giving him a concerned look over his shoulder. "You've been acting awful strange lately."

Goh huffed, shifting their backpack once more. It was a bit of a moot point to say, wasn't it?

"Goh?"

"Raboot listens to you." They blurted out, pausing in their steps.

Ash stopped, turning to look at Goh with wide eyes. It didn't stop them from letting their disappointment seep into their tone.

"He listens to you- he lets you hold him and he doesn't mind you giving him commands." Goh's voice fell quiet. "He barely even looks at me anymore- doesn't even let me hold him or pet him, I'm lucky that he listens to me in battle but-."

"But that doesn't make it feel any better, does it?" Ash's smile was lopsided and he had this look in his eye that Goh couldn't recognize. "You wish that it could go back to when he was a Scorbunny?"

Goh felt the guilt fester in their stomach, but only ducked their head lower.

"Yes." They murmured quietly.

There was silence, and the sounds of the winds picking up just as the leaves began to rustle. They could hear both Pikachu and Raboot calling out to each other, seemingly playing but there was nothing from his companion.

"Neh don't feel bad about that Goh." They startled, head snapping up just in time to see Ash shrug. "It's not the greatest thought process- but it's your first time dealing with something like this."

And Ash leaned back, gently grasping their hand and began tugging them forward, keeping quiet as Goh struggled to process what he had said.

And struggle they did.

Something about his tone of voice and what he said just wasn't clicking in Goh's head. Everything he said was the complete opposite of anything Goh expected.

"First time dealing…" They glanced at Ash, and down to their hand still gripped in his.

Whatever Ash was talking about- he must have understood.

"Have you-" The words were dry against their tongue, catching in their throat. "You've had a Raboot?"

It's not what Goh meant, but it was exactly what Goh meant.

"I've had a worse Raboot." Ash turns just slightly to grin at them. "You got the lucky pot."

Goh's eyes scrunched up slightly, opening their mouth to ask another question.

"RRRAAAAAAUGH!"

"RA-RABOOT!"

"PikaPichu!"

Goh startled, yanking their hand back to hide behind Ash.

Ash on the other hand, let out a laugh.

"What was that?" Goh hissed, rankled to their core.

And Ash turned, eyes delighted and absolutely dancing in mirth.

"That Goh-" He paused dramatically. "Is MY Raboot."

  
  


**#5) Fear**

  
  


Clemont startled in his seat, a choked scream making its way to his throat. Heavy breaths made it through his chest, hands grabbing at his suit in a desperate attempt to calm down.

He was fine- he was safe- he was-

"Clemont, I need you to look at me." A soft voice reached his ears, but it was loud enough to startle him.

His head snapped up, eyes wide as he tried to throw himself back.

Instead, a gentle hand darted around his head, another onto his shoulder and holding him in place in an attempt to hold him still. It worked, and Clemont was in this awkward position of trying to get away from something that won't let him. Another gentle hand cupped his chin, a thumb rubbing against his cheek, it was cold but not uncomfortable.

"Pikachu." The voice was soft and quiet and easy to his ears but.

_"Pikachu!? PIKACHU!"_

Pikachu was dead, oh Xerneas, Pikachu was dead and gone and who knows if any of Clemont's pokemon was next.

What about Bonnie- what if it was Bonnie!?

Cold bouncing sparks crawled up his arms, startling him enough to gasp out. He wasn't in pain, it was just so startling to him.

Instantly, his vision cleared- something he didn't even notice was blurred in the first place, and slowly he saw Ash gaze upon him in soft concern.

Clemont swallowed roughly, blinking before leaning forward, Ash's hands still gentle and cold against his own body. He blinked again, gazing at Pikachu – _not dead, not dead, not dead-_ curled up in his lap and sparking every so often.

"Pikachu, Disarming Voice." Ash's voice was starting to fade out again, but Pikachu understood perfectly.

Slowly, the Mouse began to chitter, large pink and purple notes surrounding the area and popping just about anywhere. The voice was calming enough to ease the tension in Clemont's body.

"What the hell happened!?" Clemont jerked, hissing when he knocked his head against the wall.

Ash's hands quickly reached towards the area, fingers gently circling the bump despite never once glancing at Clemont's head.

"We had a run in." Ash was calm, but the blank look in his eyes told wonders. "You know what happened, and we were there."

There was silence, and Clemont finally had the cognitive ability to blink awake and really focus.

Bonnie was curled against his side- something Clemont couldn't even fathom cause he couldn't feel her at first- she was shaking and crying but seemed to finally ease up. Serena was also on his other side, seemingly easing up from whatever happened to her as she practically collapsed onto his shoulder. Her eyes wide and slightly shaky- clearly startled by whatever she had seen.

Ash on the other hand stood in front of him, one hand curled around his head, rubbing the part of his head that made contact with his head. While his other hand was still curled beneath his chin, rubbing soothing circles on his cheek. Warm brown eyes looked at him in concern, seeing something that Clemont didn’t notice.

"Ash…" Clemont darted up, surprise leaking into his feature as Miette spoke. "Do you mean…"

She seemed so worried, terrified even and she wasn't the only one.

There was Tierno, Trevor, Shawna, and now Miette.

No- there were a bunch of people, everywhere crowding around and putting hands on people that seemed to be panicking.

They were-

No-

Clemont knew some of them, he had seen their faces in the wake of destruction but their faces were marred with horror and devastation.

No, that's exactly why he recognized them.

"Yveltal." An older teen with a blue scarf stepped up, eyes seemingly haunted as another boy with green hair stepped forward. "You can't be serious."

The name brought back images of a dark red pokemon flying above him, beams of white hitting anything and everyone.

Pikachu was dead, that person was dead. Had Clemont been any slower-

"Neh, Clemont." Ash's accent caused him to blink, trying to ease and ebb away the panic attack that was building. "Do you remember the numbers for pi? I keep forgetting…"

"Three point one four one five nine two six-" He trailed off, easing himself slightly.

"Yes-" Ash continued, pulling away from him and looking towards the other teen. "We saw Iberutaru, we were there."

"Ibertu?" Shauna murmured, eyebrows creasing in an attempt to pronounce the words Ash was saying. "Oh you mean Yve-"

She paused, stepping back away from Ash before composing herself. Clemont could only figure that Ash had glared at her.

"Ibertu." She conceded, arms thrown up sheepishly.

"Are they gonna be alright?" Trevor stepped up, giving a gentle poke to his shoulder which Clemont halfheartedly slapped away.

Like a spell the group gasped and Ash turned to them, worry coloring his face.

"What!?" Ash moved back to him, stepping in front of Trevor and laying his cold hand onto his cheek. "You okay there Clem?"

Clemont tried his hardest to ignore the butterflies churning in his gut and the blush reaching his neck.

"'M fine." He managed to grumble out, pushing Ash's hands aside. "Yer cold."

The Kanto trainer grinned, giving Clemont another soft poke to his nose.

"I'm from Kanto." He responded almost smugly, as if that explained anything. "But stay seated alright, you're gonna be in a world of a roller coaster if you try to do much."

“World of a roller coaster.” Clemont snorted, but stayed seated like Ash had said.

"Why- he's moving and talking." Tierno stepped up, almost immediately being overturned by the new kid.

"Your friend seems okay, I'm sure that you can let him do things himself."

If Clemont had time to process in the moment, he might have felt ashamed. But Ash was Ash and he didn't do things by the penny.

"No." Ash's voice was firm and he whirled to glare at them. "Just because he seems fine doesn't mean he is- he needs time to process this- they all do. This isn't gonna be some thirty second thing, it's gonna take weeks, months, and by the grace of the Moltres it could take years."

"Oh yeah and how would you know!" Miette whirled on Ash, fast, angry and absolutely seething. "You left them you asshole! You cant pretend to fucking care and then just act all fucking High and Mighty! So stop pretending you care!"

Ash didn't reel back, didn't even angrily rebuke her. Clemont wished he did- he truly believed Miette deserved it at the moment.

Maybe that's why Ash was liked more, he didn't shrink away or yell back like Clemont believed he would.

"What makes you think I left them?" His voice was quiet, tired.

"You're the only one that seems to be unaffected." Finally, the other boy with green hair spoke, he seemed familiar but Clemont couldn't quite put his finger on it. "You're the only one in this entire center that seems okay…"

"You have to admit it looks suspicious." Tierno shrugged halfheartedly, as if the Squirtle trainer couldn't believe it himself.

"You honestly think I would leave them behind like that?" No anger, no accusation, just tired resignation that didn't fit into what he knew of Ash.

"No, that’s not what she meant." Trevor stood up, hands splayed in concern and worry. "We're just confused is all!"

"Were you cut off from them?" The tall boy stepped forward, face glaring in disappointment. "Or are you done making excuses.

"Nothing I said was even remotely an excuse." Ash shrugged, arms dipping low. "But believe what you want, I don't need to say anything."

Miette stomped forward, placing a delicately manicured nail and pressing her finger against Ash's chest. She seemed well into the territory of slapping Ash and that didn't sit well with Clemont.

"Just tell us Ash, just fucking tell us so I can get my friends away from you!" Miette snarled, shoving Ash away slightly. "I can't have you putting them in danger-"

"You're scared." Ash cut her off quickly, hands darting to grab Miette's outstretched one. "All of you are."

Everything fell quiet, and Clemont noticed that everyone was staring at them, staring at Ash in a mixture of horror and confusion.

Miette ripped her hand away from Ash's grip, stepping back with anger.

She didn't get the chance to speak.

"I was there." Ash finally said, breathing in slowly. "I was there with them every step of the way. Up until the moment Iberutaru fell asleep again. I was there when they burst from their cocoon. I was there when they decided to braze everything in they're path."

And Clemont could see it, but not in the way he expected.

_He could feel the water rising up his thighs, murky waters pulsating as he trudged through. He could feel a strange energy wrap around his legs and dart up his back._

_He could see Yveltal._

_He could see the damned legend up close and personal and the thought made Clemont sick to his stomach._

But none of that was him.

"They nearly took Pikachu, my Pikachu, from me. I was there, I was there." Ash's voice was teetering into insanity, as if it was starting to register in his own head. "I held him- i held my Partner, turned to fucking stone in my arms."

_Pikachu was in his arms, Pikachu was there. But he was looking resigned, tired and happy. Clemont could hear him, hear him in his head as if Pikachu could talk._

“ _Save them, Satoshi.”_

_Pikachu, Pikachu Pika-_

_He wasn’t talking, wasn’t moving. That wasn’t his partner, that wasn’t his buddy._

_Wake up- Pikachu wake-_

Everyone in the center flinched, some people throwing their hands on their head as Clemont took a moment to try to ground himself. He could feel Serena and Bonnie’s fingers dig into his leg, bunching up the fabric in their hands in near death defying grips.

Ash stepped back, lifting his head up for a second as he let in a slow easy breath.

One.

Two.

He straightened his back, letting air slowly blow out his lips.

"I was there," Ash repeated, back to being calm. "I was scared, but this isn't my first disaster either. I was pretty close to the center of that natural disaster a few years back when I was first starting my journey."

Miette swallowed slowly, looking away.

"I know what it's like, and I know you're scared for them." Ash stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder before walking past her. "But I'm their friend too. I wouldn't do this if I knew they could handle it themselves. They can’t, and I don’t mean that to be mean. Sometimes you can’t handle things alone."

And Ash left, heading to the cafeteria as a people silently watched him from behind.

Clemont leaned back, feeling Serena and Bonnie shift with him.

Something didn't sit right.

"Serena!" Shauna whispered, rushing over to grab her friend's hand. "Holy Yveltal, are you alright."

As one, both he and Serena let in a harsh breathe, shaking slightly at the name. Serena going so far as to snap her hand away.

"I'm fine." Serena bit out, trying to even out the fear in her voice.

It didn't seem to work as Miette rushed forward, placing her hands above Serena's own, trying to hold shaky hands steady. There was a softness there that Miette had never shown before, rubbing her thumb above Serena’s knuckles.

"Not even close Serena." The performer deadpanned, eyes squinting in a semi fond glare. "Come on, let's get you to your room."

"Ash is bringing us food." Serena again pulled away, clamping her hands around Clemont's arm. "I want to wait for him."

"We can tell him we took you all to your room." The green haired kid offered. "That way you can all be in a comfortable area."

Pikachu shifted, startling Clemont who forgot for a second he was there.

The mouse snarled, pouncing forward and onto Serena's lap, curling and flicking his tail like a Meowstic over a litter of Espurr's.

"Pi-KAH!" Pikachu barked, voice heavier than anything Clemont has ever heard the mouse say.

Their friends backed up, startled as Serena's hands darted to keep Pikachu in place. Not that the mouse was going to jump at them or attack them, he seemed content into telling them to back off.

Once they had reeled back enough, Pikachu settled into Serena's lap. A smug smirk touching his lips.

"Pika." He cooed.

"Neh Pikachu, stop scaring people." and the group startled again as Ash came in with bowls of food for the trio. “You can’t do that whenever you feel like it.”

“Pika!” Pikachu jumped, grinning innocently.

Easily Ash slipped the bowls into their hands, the smell of cooked fish reaching his nose. It wasn't something they ate often, so it was definitely a surprise.

“Brat.” Ash’s hand darted to Pikachu, shaking ever so slightly as he scratched beneath Pikachu’s chin.

Clemont grinned, looking down and away as Pikachu whined. Ash pulled away, smiling fondly before staring at Clemont with the same look.

"There's no white potatoes or rice or pasta." Ash curled his fingers around Clemont's depositing the plastic fork gingerly between his digits. "We shouldn't be eating that yet."

"Oh?" Clemont waited for Ash to pull back, just before he scooped up a vegetable. "Why not?"

"Not good for your head." Ash smiled. "You'd be surprised how many doctors are against it."

"You're not gonna eat." Serena's fork came into view, poking Ash's face for a second.

He blinked at her and smiled again, eyes closing at the motion.

"Not yet- they ran out of fish and the meat they're using isn't the greatest for me." Ash shrugged. "They're gonna put out the next fish dishes in about 30 minutes, so I'm holding onto that."

"Ash, I don't like this," They all turned to Bonnie as she held up a sweet potato on her fork. "It's yucky!"

"Not Yucky." Ash stuck his tongue out at her before stealing the bite off her fork.

Instantly he cringed back, chewing it oddly as they burst into laughter.

"Okay-" He opened his mouth for a second and closed it, face scrunched in disgust. "Kinda yucky, they did not make it right."

Clemont laughed, closing his eyes for a second to let the sound of Ash and Bonnie bickering reach his ears.

He was still shaky, and by Xerneas he was having trouble not thinking about it.

But Ash understood that, and he was making sure to let them at it at their own pace.

He couldn't blame their friends for wanting to choose differently, for thinking about a different way to help.

But Ash knew what it was like to be scared like they were.

And that was the most comforting feeling in the world, to be understood without feeling like he was holding anyone back.

Clemont smiled, opening his eyes and staring fondly at Ash.

He took a bite of the fish.

  
  


**+1) Normality**

  
  


Brock sighed, pulling Ash up by his collar and onto his feet.

This was the second time the trainer had nearly fallen and Brock knew he wasn't as clumsy as he pretended to be.

For Mew's sake, he watched the idiot scale a mountain without missing his footing.

"Whoops! Thanks Brock!" Ash grinned at him and darted off.

"He's awfully clumsy this time round." Misty snorted into her hand. "Ten bucks says he falls into the lake."

"Nothing will make me take that bet, Mist." Brock knocked their shoulders together, grinning impishly. "Sides- ten bucks says Totodile knocks him in."

She laughed, throwing her head back.

"No way, that's like betting against him finding Mew." Misty proceeded to shove him. "I ain't losing my well earned money on a bet I'd lose!"

"My point exactly!" Brock shot back, laughing as he stumbled towards Ash.

It was like he had never left, Ash's pokemon found him easily, chirping and chortling for attention separately. Pidgeot had arrived pretty quickly upon learning of Ash’s return and it was about as well as Brock had expected.

She had picked him up and flew him around in her talons, showcasing her trainer proudly as Bulbasaur sprinted underneath yelling at her and vines wrapped firmly around Ash’s ankles.

It made for an odd image, but Brock just knew it was normal all things considered.

And maybe, just maybe it was a comforting sight.

“He could get hurt.” He turned, staring at the green haired student, Mallow, looking on in horror. “He could get hurt, and no one is doing anything!”

“We can help him-” The tall dark skinned student, Kiawe?, held out a pokeball. “Come on Char-”

“Wait, what?” Misty interrupted them quickly. “Why help him?”

The students turned to look at them, confusion and worry creating their faces.

“W-what do you mean?” Sophocles yelled, “Look at him, that isn’t safe!”

“We should help him down.” Lillie added, “Who knows what those pokemon are planning to do- oh dear, if we knew it was a pokemon’s territory we could have avoided it!”

“Pokemon… Territory?” Misty sounded out slowly, her brow creased in confusion. “What?”

And it clicked to Brock a second too late.

“Oh sh-, no! Nononono.” He waved his arms frantically, stopping back for a second. “Oh Mew, I forgot- uh, those ARE Ash’s pokemon! They do this all the time.”

Not a single one of the students seemed convinced, and Misty looks just as confused.

"Misty." Brock sighed. "Misty- Alola's n-"

"NORMAL!" It clicked, and she swiveled towards them in shock, slapping a hand over her mouth. "Oh fuck, it completely slipped my mind, holy shit, how did I forget that!??"

"Normal?" Lana stepped forward, confused and suspicious. "What do you mean normal?"

"Well it's not normal." Misty blurted out. "But it's normal, you get me?"

The looks they gave them weren't comforting, but Brock nor Misty really knew how to explain.

"Normal… like… normal normal?" Mallow scrunched her nose, raising a hand up to wave. "I don't think so."

"Hold on." Brock stepped back putting two fingers in his mouth, whistling as sharply as he could.

They all flinched, and even Brock could hear the ringing in his ears but he waited-

And waited-

And-

"BROCK WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!"

Brock stepped back, reaching up blindly and feeling a body slam into his arms with a thrown force.

Unfortunately, Brock wasn't as used to this as he used to be and he stumbled back a bit, barely managing to catch both. He held out the body at arms length, raising his brow as Ash sheepishly smiled at him as Talonflame made a break for it in the background.

"Of course you would." And Brock plopped him onto his feet, knocking his cap down and over his eyes.

"Not my fault, I asked to be dropped off and Talonflame took it literally." Ash paused, moving his hat back up. "Okay- maybe my fault but you don't get to say it.

"But I do-" Misty grinned, knocking his cap down again. "It's your fault."

"This is trainer abuse." Ash snorted, lifting his hat back up but keeping his hand on the bill. "So whaddya need me for Brocko?"

Brock glanced at the Alola group and back at Ash, humming for a second.

"Ash, how would you describe Alola?" He settled on, waving a hand at his friend.

Ash's eyes sparkled and Brock bit back a smile, he hadn't seen that excitement in a few years and it was a refreshing thing to see again. It reminded him of all the reason’s he enjoyed traveling with Ash.

"Alola's great!" Ash chirped, letting go of his hat to throw his arms up in the air. "There are so many cool pokemon and people! Everyone's so nice and they really help each other out so much! I met this one Kahuna named Olivia who calmed down a raging Tauros like it was nothing and-"

"Okay Ash hold up a second." Misty held out a hand, this time knocking his cap back. "That's not what we meant."

"Pikachu, here." Ash pouted, handing his cap to Pikachu "What do you mean? How else am i supposed to describe Alola?"

"No Ash, I mean like," Brock paused waving his hand in a circular motion. "Like- how is Alola?"

Ash gave them a confused look that Pikachu followed.

"Ash," Mallow stepped forward, interrupting Ash's disaster of a thought train. "Is Alola… Normal to you?"

He lit up, finally seeming to get the question.

"What, no way!" He shook his head furiously, crossing both arms over his chest in an x motion that Pikachu mimicked. "Alola's FAAAR from normal."

His classmates sagged in relief, feeling that was enough.

Misty had other ideas.

"Why isn't it normal?" She pursed her lips and Brock knew she was egging him on. “All the other Region’s we went to were pretty normal?”

Ash stuttered, waving his hands for a second.

"Well, you know- everyone stays in one place!"

His classmates snapped to attention, confusion and worry leaking into their features.

"They're not gym leaders, but everyone still stays there, there's classes for people older than 10 that are mandatory. People have schedules for daily things." Ash paused looking up and squinting. "But not like, not like traveling plans where everyday changes like- like they have these things they need to do daily! Or weekly!"

He turned swiveling for a second, as if he needed a second to think more. Before turning back with his hands splayed open.

"AND- And, not everyone is gunning for a traveling trainer- in fact I've only met a few people who are willing to be traveling trainers, its so weird, and they have registered traveling pokemon for the whole community- not trainer pokemon taking trainers around- like a ride system, its crazy!"

Brock turned to the Alola schoolmates, eyebrows raised a tad bit smug.

"Ash all of that's normal- it happens in other regions too?" Lillie countered, dropping into confusion at the end of it.

Ash shrugged, throwing his arms up.

"I don't know about you guys but that doesn't happen to me." He raised his arms in defense, leaning over to stage whisper at Brock. "They don't even have many pokemon attacks."

"They don't even have many pokemon attacks." Misty nodded sagely, hiding her mouth behind her hand as she struggled not to laugh.

Brock had no such qualms, throwing his head back as a bark of laughter escaped his throat.

Trust Ash to not understand what truly was considered normal.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! if you want to see any art I have down you can find it @Maiden_Arts on Insta, Tumblr and now Tik Tok lol.


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